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What does fate have in store for the rich and famous in 2023?
Yes! It’s time for celebrity predictions — the usual collection of fakery and fantasy about what to expect in the shiny new year.
According to famed psychic Baba Vanga, 2023 will be full of terrible catastrophes for humanity: destructive solar storms, a bioweapon research project that will kill hundreds of thousands, a nuclear power plant explosion and alien visitors from space.
Vanga has been dead since 1996, but just can’t stop prognosticating and thoughtfully recorded her predictions for many years in the future.
Anyone still not dead after the bioweapon issue, the nuclear problem and the alien attack mentioned above can focus on the heartbreak and turmoil predicted for the British Royal Family in 2023.
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Several high-profile psychics are predicting an all-hell-breaks-loose scenario for the Royals in 2023, just as they reliably predicted exactly the same thing for 2022. And 2021.
Nicolas Aujula, 37, for example, predicts the Royal Family’s income and popularity will decrease
He told the UK Sun, “So they may sell their properties, or they may turn something into a hotel, or they will have to diversify.
“I also think that King Charles will be having health issues. Maybe it has to do with his heart or with circulation.”
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In other celeb predictions, Aujula believes both Madonna and Beyonce will experience heartbreak in 2023. Madonna, 64, will also experience sorrow.
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A little heartbreak or sorrow doesn’t sound that bad, given that Aujula also predicts mass flooding, malaria and power outages on a global scale.
Aujula claims to have predicted COVID, the fire at Notre Dame and Trump’s election, so prepare yourself for the disasters of biblical proportion that he foresees.
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Or not.
British psychic Craig Hamilton-Parker predicted the death of Queen Elizabeth II in 2022 and likewise goes wa-a-a-a-y out on a limb for 2023 by predicting that Meghan Markle will have a TV talk show. Golly!
He has a feeling Prince Andrew will have some kind of breakdown and another member of the Royal Family will have a serious fall — as usually followeth pride, no?
For regular folk, he foresees global food shortages, famine, hardship and crop failures, with freak weather events,a cattle zoonotic disease to go along with bird flu, some kind of nuclear disaster from Russia and a huge solar flare or other cosmic event.
So! Overall 2023 message: we are doomed.
New York-based psychic John Cohan predicts that some old nude photos of Prince Harry from his college days will surface in 2023 and cause more scandal for Harry and Meghan.
Whether these are different pictures from the ones we all saw in 2012 remains unknown.
Cohan tells the New York Post he believes that Justin Bieber will fully recover from Ramsay Hunt syndrome with the help of new medication and then appear in a couple of movies next year.
Cher will get a new boyfriend, and Bobby Cannavale and Rose Byrne will have a talk show and become the “it” couple.
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Lisa Marie Presley will check into Mother Dolores Hart’s Connecticut convent to pull her life together.
Psychic Maryann Gaudioso’s predictions also appear in the New York Post.
She said the marriage between Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck won’t last past the two-year mark, Sylvester Stallone finds a new love and Kevin Costner will run for office in 2023 — but can’t say where or when or for what office.
Why don’t psychics ever predict anything for young celebrities?
Just wondering.
Our own celebrity predictions for 2023 are simple: It would be great if Kanye West could get some serious psychiatric help before more harm comes his way.
Ye is now showing up on “Celebrity Death Lists” for 2023, never a good sign.
We predict James Corden — recently flamed on social media for his bad behaviour at Balthazar Restaurant in New York — will be more widely recognized as theprat he actually is.
Balthazar owner Keith McNally posted on Instagram that Corden is, “A tiny cretin of a man and the most abusive customer to my Balthazar servers since the restaurant opened 25 years ago.”
Which is really saying something.
We hope Cordon, Elon Musk, Lea Michele, Will Smith, Joe Rogan and all the rest of the bully people can find a way to stop being so mean-spirited in 2023.
CELEBRITY DEAD POOL
There are at least a dozen groups online that amuse themselves by trying to predict which celebrities will die in the new year.
Advanced age, poor health and/or bad behaviour are the quickest way to get on one of these lists.
Here are 10 whose names come up often for 2023:
Joni Mitchell
Donald Trump
Bill Cosby
Kanye West
Vladimir Putin
Rupert Murdoch
Yoko Ono
Liza Minnelli
Woody Allen
Clint Eastwood
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